How Spicy are You?

By R. David Fulcher, Old Scratch Press Founding Member

I love all things pumpkin, including pumpkin spice. However, I understand even fans of this seasonal gourd have their limits on just how much pumpkin spice is too much pumpkin spice.

Readers are the same way.

Even fans of scary stories have their own personal limits in terms of exactly how scary, how gory, or how unsettling a story they can bear.

Therefore, I’ve taken three of my pumpkin-related stories and rated them in spiciness, from the most mild to the most extreme.

Mild Spice: “Pumpkin Night at the Pinkstons”

In “Pumpkin Night at the Pinkstons”, from my book The Movies that Make You Scream!, a teenager discovers the secret behind his homecoming date. Full of gooey teenage love, this is the mildest of my pumpkin-themed stories, something like one of the Goosebumps tales by R.L. Stine.

I’ll call this the Pumpkin Spice Latte Level of story.

Here is an excerpt from “Pumpkin Night at the Pinkstons”:

I don’t know exactly how much time passed before realizing that something was very, very wrong. The texture of her kisses changed, becoming clumsy and pulpy in taste. Her smooth gums became loose and stringy, and when I tried to pull away, I realized she was attached to me like a barnacle adhered to the side of a boat’s hull. Long, pointed fingers now clenched my nose shut and I began to get dizzy as that sickening, fruity-vegetable stench began to overwhelm me.

But more horrible were the physical changes taking place to the body I embraced, a grotesque squishyness of the torso and organs like the skin of a rotting tomato.

Medium Spice: “Pumpkin Seed Spit”

In “Pumpkin Seed Spit”, from the Devil’s Party Press anthology Halloween Party 2019, three friends go trick-or-treating and make a horrible deal with an ancient spirit to ensure their survival. Although the protagonists are also teenagers in this story, the stakes are higher, and the final implications for humanity much darker.

I’ll call this the Pumpkin Muffin Level of story.

Here is an excerpt from “Pumpkin Seed Spit”:

Upon reaching the first house near a dead end, they knocked and said in unison, “Trick-or-Treat!” As fifty-year-old Henry Armitage opened the front door, Brian unearthed his bag. The middle-aged man frowned at the kids before starting to mutter something about the lateness of the hour. Armitage gazed into Brian’s bag of seeds and was immediately mesmerized. An orange energy tendril spiraled upward, carrying a single seed into Armitage’s mouth.

Brian, Matt, and Ria wanted to scream, but found it impossible. While their souls were wrenched into knots by the horror they witnessed, outwardly they stood emotionless, even tranquil, as layers of skin and flesh melted away until all that remained of Henry Armitage was a living skeleton.

When the transformation was complete, they advanced to the next house. Ria shared the seeds, and Asenath Waite, a young mother of two, was hideously transformed into a witch with boils, green teeth, and a trail of lesions across her forehead.

Matt was next to present The Pumpkin Tree’s offering to the world. Three seeds were received by a couple and their young baby. Within moments they became a trio of giant pale, eyeless larvae that oozed and squiggled out of their clothes.

Extra Spicy: “The Pumpkin King”

In “The Pumpkin King”, from my book The Pumpkin King and Other Tales of Terror, a man ignores the rules of Halloween to his own detriment. The protagonist is an adult, and this tale has the most shock value of the three.

I’ll call this the Pumpkin Imperial Pale Ale Level of story 

Here is an excerpt from “The Pumpkin King”:

I spun around and made for the door, half convinced I was hallucinating if not dreaming. I unlatched the deadbolt, but it clicked back into place as soon as I started to turn the latch. I turned back to the jack-o’-lantern.

“An easy trick, but effective,” the jack-o’-lantern said, its orange light flashing in time to the latch on the deadbolt as it clicked back and forth at will.

“What do you want?” I begged.

“I want you to think on this. There is but one expectation of you this time of year. One simple obligation: To carve pumpkins. To pay homage to the king.”

“What king?”

“Samhain, the King of the Dead.” Its demeanor began to change. Its voice deepened and the reddish-orange glow rose like an enraged fire.

“This is ridiculous!” Now I was beginning to lose my fear and was feeling pissed. This thing, whatever it was, was in my house. I turned to climb the stairs and grab a baseball bat so that I could smash the talkative piece of vegetation into a hundred juicy bits. I was an educated man, and I knew of the myth of Samhain, the Lord of the Dead who arrived every fall to put nature in balance with the deadly strokes of his sickle. I also knew it was pure bunk.

I had only reached the first step when I heard a sound far worse than the maddening click-clacking of the door latch: the metallic whisper of a kitchen knife being drawn from the butcher block.

I turned back to the pumpkin. “Okay. You’ve got my attention. What do you want?”

“I want to carve you,” it replied simply.

So whatever your personal threshold is for pumpkin spice, pay homage to the spirits of All Hallows Eve, and savor the spice before it’s gone!

Happy Writing!

R.David Fulcher, Founding Member of Old Scratch Press 

Oldscratchpress.com

Rdavidfulcher.com

What Genre Scares You The Most?

By R. David Fulcher, Old Scratch Press Founding Member

While most authors have a preferred genre, many authors have dabbled in others. For example, while I am primarily a speculative fiction writer (horror, fantasy, and science fiction), I have also written historical fiction, drama, romance, and poetry.

However, I’ve always found one genre intimidating: Westerns.

I realize that author Louis L’Amour made a fine career out of writing Westerns, what he called “frontier stories,” but I haven’t been able to catch that particular spark. Perhaps it is simply that I’ve never invested the time to understand the difference between the gravy train or the chuck wagon, or when to precisely call in the calvary.

While I’ve enjoyed a few Western films such as Tombstone and True Grit, and appreciated the genre-blending Westerns such as Blazing Saddles, Cowboys & Aliens, and Firefly, I’d be lying if I said I were a true fan of Westerns.

Since every psychologist recommends facing your fears, I think I’ll give it a try.

So, without further ado, here is my flash fiction Western, “Down Goes the Rodeo Clown.”

Down Goes the Rodeo Clown

Roger Roy tightened his grip on the bridle. His horse, Mustang Sally, had a wild streak, and he didn’t intend to lose control while calf roping.

Suddenly the gate opened, and the crowd in the stands roared as a gate on the opposite side of the arena opened and a young black and white calf stumbled out.

Roger steered Sally towards the calf and reached for the lasso at his side to confirm it was there.  Staring ahead, Roger didn’t notice that one of the loops of the lasso had caught the trigger of his six gun.

Something seemed off with the calf, too; it stumbled around like it was drunk.

Roger had a job to do, drunk calf or not, and approached the poor creature.

He tugged on the lasso to remove it, and it seemed stuck on something. Roger tugged harder the second time and felt his pistol shift and the hammer cock.

A single shot reverberated through the air: bang!

The calf awkwardly fell to the dirt with a gut-wrenching cry of anguish. A red blossom of blood stained the black and white coat.

Roger leaped off his horse to help the poor creature, only to see a pair of cowboy boots sticking out from under the coat.

He threw back the coat, only to see the body of the rodeo clown shoot right through the heart. His painted face was twisted in pain and his orange hair fluttered in the light breeze.

The crowd began to point and scream. 

Roger Roy tipped his hat in their direction and said, “I guess that’s his last joke.  This one was on him.”

And with a jangle of spurs Roger swung into the saddle and trotted away.

So there it is – corny, unbelievable even, but my first Western nonetheless, and you, dear reader, were there to witness it.

The moral of this story is to confront your fears, try that genre that has always scared you the most, and you might strike pay dirt.

Or as an old miner forty-niner might say, “There’s gold in them thar’ hills!”

Happy Writing!

R.David Fulcher, Founding Member of Old Scratch Press 

Oldscratchpress.com

Rdavidfulcher.com

WELCOME TO OLD SCRATCH PRESS

Hi~
Dianne from Devil’s Party Press (DPP) here.
Did you know I studied the writing of poetry when I was in college?
I love poetry, and there is a growing interest in it, but still not enough places to share it.
I reached out to some of the poets we’ve published at DPP, and asked them if they would like to do some volunteering to get a poetry imprint going, and, luckily, many of them said, “Yes!”
Poets are, by nature, generous people.
Together, I hope that we can publish good poetry. I hope that, over time, the poets will run the kitchen, cooking up new books, anthologies, opportunities, awards, who knows what all for poets!
My goal for this year is to put out a single author collection of poetry for three of the poets who are volunteering to create and run the press.
Our “poets” decided, to begin with, that poetry is as unique as the poets who create it. So they decided to make poetry include what we might consider to be a traditional poem, as well as more short-form works, mini memoirs, bits of story, and to include art, as it please the members to do so.
I think it’s going to be creative and exciting, and I cannot wait to see what they dream up.
Look for posts from the members here as we get underway on this project. I’m starting us off, but I hope they’ll soon eclipse me as they create something wonderful to which DPP becomes the helping hand.
The members of the group are:
Alan Bern
Anthony Doyle
Ellis Elliot
Gabby Gilliam
Janet Holmes Uchendu
Morgan Golladay
Nadja Maril
R. David Fulcher
Robert Fleming
Virginia Watts

And the first book from the group, A Break in the Field, by Ellis Elliot, is forthcoming from Old Scratch Press (OSP) this summer!

I wish all these wonderful authors a lot of luck with the OSP project!

And thanks to you for loving poetry, following this group, and maybe even buying a book!